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Funny Futurism pt. 2

Continuation. Probably scroll down if you haven't read part 1. Sorry guys, the Internet is the predator of reading and I'm a retard of post-2010 intelligence. Dad went to get brotherBot-Xtreme 2.0 or whatever.

Back to Gary Shteyngart, who wrote a story called "Super Sad True Love Story" and the story-words are even funnier than that Title. Of course when I use "funny" near things like this it means "really really boring." Again, I'm sorry but stuff that is advanced is also changing the way I speak!
and only in a bad way .

Here's part of that NY Times article again.

In Shteyngart's "Super Sad True Love Story," a sinister Bipartisan government is waging an oil war with Venezuela, New York is balkanized into heavily fortified neighborhoods like the United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti — iPhone-like devices worn around the neck — give constant updates on your credit worthiness and sexual hotness.

I tried to read Absurdistan for a book club that was set up by a former professor who has no taste, I guess. Quick synopsis from Wikipedia:

It chronicles the adventures of Misha Vainberg, the 325-pound son of the 1,238th-richest man in Russia, as he struggles to return to his true love in the South Bronx.

---

Sorry; things I hate throw me into a rage. I promise I have a point here.

I know that there are critics who find Shteyngart 'absurdly funny' or something like that and maybe he is to them. Laughter is too visceral to judge. So as humor can be considered low or highbrow so can laughter, should you make the distinction. I don't think it's necessary--qu'est-ce qui me fait rire, c'est le plus amusant. Step Brothers is really funny and so is Pastoralia by George Saunders. Infinite Jest is hilarious but not as much as Paul F. Tompkin's Cake Boss impression. I didn't smile once at Absurdistan, though I could find the places that made him marvel at his own wit. Ironic references to Dostoyevsky, convolutions bloated in the silhouette of social critique, the unholy juxtaposition of reference and ribaldry.

The last motif is exemplified by the character's use of "khui" (actually in italics, every time) in reference to his penis. Say Shteyngart opted for "dick." It's easier to type (at least on a MacBook) and--here's the best part--the reader will understand what he means the first time that word appears! Think of a funny nudity scene in a movie. I'll try Forgetting Sarah Marshall w/ Jason Segel. He gets naked like twice and they're both surprising and funny moments. What if there were fifty more nude scenes but instead of his penis there was a foreign symbol to represent nudity in general. Jason Segel naked is replaced by a § or something. You see Kristen Bell's reaction but maybe don't realize that § means "his dick is out" until a few seconds in. Too late, other people are laughing and you didn't get it in time. The screen goes black and tells you to go fuck yourself, this movie is restricted to better people than you.

Okay, I can't sidetrack myself. I'll discuss my hatred for puns and referential humor later. I need to comment on how Absurdistany it is that people may want to read this new story after that inadvertent caveat in the Times Magazine. I am too struck by how whiny this story sounds--I'm not as disturbed by the future as I am by these present do-nothing doomsayers. Let me explain that a book like Infinite Jest does not offend me despite the thematic similarity because it wore nothing on its sleeve. It barely mentions the time of story--like 2003 or something?--something immediately thrust upon the audience of Shteyngart's story as it is his 'foray into futurism' or whatever, I don't know. DFW had very few characters that I was able to actually disdain, and I can't remember a single one now. Shteyngart, you know what he thinks of his characters. And when the authors get cautionary about technology they totally split paths. There is an amazing section, probably as long as Shteyngart's story, in Infinite Jest that describes the silly rise and fall of video chat technology, told with care and prescience--a quality available only to those who live in the present.

Look. I have no idea what the Shteyngart story is. I definitely have better things to read. If you want to read it go ahead, I bet it will corroborate my argument. If it doesn't, or if you don't read it, at least this story is a straw man, an effigy for thought that I despise. One last time, sorry guys. Schadenfreude.

In Shteyngart's "Super Sad True Love Story," a sinister Bipartisan government is waging an oil war with Venezuela, New York is balkanized into heavily fortified neighborhoods like the United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti — iPhone-like devices worn around the neck — give constant updates on your credit worthiness and sexual hotness.

The baseline for futurism is here--all this stuff coming in 14 years, it's influenced by the most visible future ever i.e. now, so we have Political Parties; The Government; Oil; Venezuela; Rezoning; Consumerism. I'll let those first few things go--probably they're due to lack of creativity. I'm concerned with the "United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti." Clearly uncreative but more importantly, clingy to the zeitgeist. Offensively relevant.

Apparently this äppäräti thing is like an iPhone but it does stuff like gauge your worth via credit or appearance. Can we even say there is one layer of meaning to this? How does this not instantly sound way shittier than even 1984? Linear extrapolation. Middle school science in a book, applied to society! Here's a monologue of a play I wrote called I'm Gary Shteyngart: Hm, what am I uncomfortable with today? Advertising, of course. Capitalism...yeah yeah. Dude, vanity. I know I'm smart but inexplicably I'm so defensive about my modest looks that I'll prognosticate my frustration by applying it to my darkly humorous vision of the future. Ergo: hey, some people think too much about how they look --> in the future it'll be worse. And scene...you get the idea.

But Kiptok it's a satire! It's a playful critique of society by projecting hyperbolae of the parts of society that he wants to change! Necessarily he has to push the envelo-- Let me stop you right there, me. He isn't pushing the envelope. This isn't new. Read Plato or something. There are better ways to opine. Please please don't tell me this stuff is edgy. I don't want to find out that my generation is already that old. Edgy stuff is intrinsically surprising. Have you ever seen that movie The Aristocrats? Watch it again and try to listen hard for your own laughter. Does the concept of the United Nations Retail Corridor sound funny to you? Wow, maybe it *would* be bad if this universal concept of retail infringed upon the sanctity of the United Nations! The hijinks in here certainly don't bode well for at the very least the economic climate of this already very consumeristic nation. LOL President Violent J is promoting Faygo in the General Assembly hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (guys I'm sorry I'm so sarcastic... happens when I'm angry)

Look dude, I go to college in New York City. Got a finger on the pulse of young thought. Most of them still don't care much about their social impact--pretty selfish but their style doesn't have much influence. I'm bothered more by their enemies the complainers, the (following adjs. are all touched with skepticism) worldly, conscious, idealistic and cultured young people. First things first, fuck their attitude. This is the archetype: moderately versed in literature, art, film, music, etc. of course. These people know their share of David Lynch, Italo Calvino, Deerhunter. They just went to MoMA last week, they haven't checked out PS1 yet but they're going next weekend. Most importantly, liberal and have you read the piece about Gerhardt Richter in the New Yorker yet?

Don't forget set theory and subjectivity. This is a relatively small group of people and I still find them mostly redeeming. If I express contempt it's for behavior. Even if your behavior corresponds you are not necessarily an offender. And you're definitely not worse off if you don't know Lynch, Calvino and Cox. I don't hate anyone. But if you complain more than a bit I have real problems with your style.

But the views these people can espouse and the things they can like! It's smart people being stupid. I go to an ivy league college FYI. They know they're gifted but I don't like the occasional case of entitlement. My example: people promoting bullshit art like everything Gary Shteyngart drafts in Word 2008. Influence is dangerous, man! And it disheartens me to hear classmates sound off on their distaste for the lights in Times Square or the way people look at screens or how whenever they go on Facebook they see people playing games! Fucking games! Farmville what a waste of time! On a website that appears in your address bar the instant you type a single "w". How can they be so selfish.

I don't care what you do! Thanks for spending Spring Break in Guatemala! Thank you for having freerice.com as your homepage. I love--really--that you read so much and study so hard. That's great because I have trouble with stuff like that.

Everyone young still has a lot of energy to use. Obviously a lot of that is wasted as with any machine. Fucking thermodynamic laws!!! Who needs to waste more? I understand that it can be something of a relief to vent frustration, to sometimes berate your roommate or pee on her pillow when she's gone. Good investment though is developing new techniques and using your innate influence to change things slowly. If your roommate wakes you up all the time then next time punch him in the jaw or something. Or whatever, figure out the best way to fix that. Times Square doesn't give a shit about you, there are a ton of people there who matter more than you do. A derisive look doesn't kill Twitter. Fight or

Funny Futurism pt. 1

Here's a short I just read in the annual NY Times Magazine issue with ideas in it; one (idea? I guess?) about stories written about stuff in the future.

The quarterly McSweeney's got things rolling with an issue devoted to stories set in the year 2024 A.D. Then two of America's most acclaimed novelists, Gary Shteyngart and Jennifer Egan, chimed in with their own unsettling visions of the near future.

In Shteyngart's "Super Sad True Love Story," a sinister Bipartisan government is waging an oil war with Venezuela, New York is balkanized into heavily fortified neighborhoods like the United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti — iPhone-like devices worn around the neck — give constant updates on your credit worthiness and sexual hotness. The circa 2020 New York in Egan's "A Visit from the Goon Squad" is a bit less apocalyptic: the end of 15 years of war has brought a baby boom. "If thr r childrn," one character asks in a text message, "thr mst b a fUtr, rt?"

If you know me, yup! Still have a major beef with Gary Shteyngart. More like Larry Grime-fart IV! Who fucking sucks! He put himself in one of his books and I think that was his alias. I'll look it up later. But I'll be fair with this stupid idiot so let me finish this piece.

A future for the world but maybe not for the publishing industry. the current wave of literary near futurism comes at a time when the printed book — and the very act of traditional reading — seems under siege by digital technology. Both Shteyngart and Egan embrace a kind of if-you-can't beat-'em-join-'em approach, weaving instant messages, social networking and other forms of digital communication into their texts. Egan even pulls off a powerful 70-page chapter written entirely in PowerPoint. The overall effect of their experimentation is to produce a powerful nostalgia for the ever-vanishing present. This time, maybe the future really is already here.

Wait a second this isn't an idea! At best it's a thing that two writers did or something? George Saunders, David Foster Wallace, Kazuo Ishiguro have all written stuff like this in the past few decades. Check it out, so do bands (whoa). Listen to anything Jason Lytle touches with his cyborg soul. Maybe these guys suck to you but I like them and I'm pretty sure the thematic spheres that these artists generate with their work find planes of intersection with that Shteyngart and Egan stuff.

/** But I don't know Jennifer Egan. Check out what Nick says--He doesn't suck at blogging. */

I'll tackle Gary Shteyngart because I hate him and apparently people--alive people!--read his books. I rarely punch books as hard as I did to my copy of "Absurdistan" (for those of you who love to laugh, it's a really funny example of wordplay. Hilarious portmanteau, the kind that just adds a suffix--with 0 aplomb--to a thing. But if you're laughing at that title I want to beat you up.)

oh wait

Sorry I need to continue this later, and I'll only remember to do it if I post this part now. Holy shit! That is crazy!!! This isn't even as perfect as it can be and I'm posting it to the content machine that is Internet! This thing that is going to make us so retarded that in ten years we'll be wearing necklaces with fucking cheeky names. Just the stupid arrogance of people like me guys, taking technology bad places. Anyway, I need to get in my Car-o-Matic Brought To You By Axe Deodorant Driving Mac(OS XIV)hine and go to the Philadelphia Eagles Airport in Philadelphia to pick up my Nike Ultimate++x9 BRO-BOT.

l8r (Confused, smart people? It's a shortening of the word "later". My bad for destroying the English language [this apology was sponsored by SillyName, the new Consumable Thing from Consume-Corp-Systems-Lab-Trump-Electronics, a subsidiary of MicrosoftAOLTimeWarnerJimmyJohn's. now subtlety-free.]

~✛❀✛✛✛✛❚Part.2❚✛✛✛✛❀✛~

Plastic People

I'm in a new band called Plastic People.



We have some songs coming out very soon that I think you will enjoy a lot. They're a little weird, there's a little bit of cussing (definitely not for anyone under 18 years old), and I guess you have to have kind of an open mind, but I like them very much and hope you do too. Stay tuned and you will be rewarded with tunes!

Oh yeah I never told you also I'm in a band called PUPPY COPS

Mark E

I don't understand this song. This is better than music.

Spring Honey

A mix by me

http://www.mediafire.com/?u2ym0nktq2m

The Radio Dept. "Heaven's on Fire"
Happy Birthday "Girls FM"
Lucky Dragons "Honeycombhouse"
Ratatat "Mirando"
Ecstatic Sunshine "Ramontana"
Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers "Lydia"
John Talabot "Korlee"
Bostro Pesopeo "Reprise"
Lucky Dragons "Honeycombhouse 2"
Amy Winehouse "Tears Dry On Their Own (Al Usher Remix)"
Herbert "Birds of a Feather"
Gonjasufi "Sheep"
Matmos "Polychords"
Lucky Dragons "Honeycombhouse 3"
Tanlines "Real Life"
Cocteau Twins "Wolf in the Breast"
Serena Maneesh "D.I.W.S.W.T.T.D."

Total Slacker

Let's get serious now. Maybe their name doesn't paint a slacker image but The Beets seem to be nothing better, after twice canceling engagements with Anayvelyse and Claire's radio show. Twice I eagerly anticipated hearing great tunes, twice I looked forward to skipping Frontiers of Boring Volcanoes lecture, twice I was let down when The Beets flaked, unable to make it from Jackson to Morningside. Every "twice" coincides. Total bullshit. Meanwhile Sun Araw travels across the country to play a sick show (really sick).

Thing is it's hard to stay mad at a lazy guy. Why is that? Probably everyone's shared propensity for inertia, whereas fewer of us do drugs or fart in elevators or like stupid tv shows. It's easier to empathize. And there's also a weird image, I think, of the slacker as some cool poet. Laid-back yet sensitive and above quotidian stress. Gifted with keen eyes/ears/hands/body parts to use whenever. It's not like that's based on nothing, but people mix up correlation and causation here. Being idle has nothing to do with becoming a good artist.

There is probably an artistry that dominates mundane worries. It's all what you care about, and if subtlety of perception is your thing you probably don't worry so much about doing homework or finding a job or updating your resume. But how many other archetypes could you swap in, then? Girl becoming the fastest at her own kind of running or scientist on the verge of a huge breakthrough or guy who loves to travel or little kid who reviews movies on Youtube or senior who wants to explore her town before leaving for college or dad starting to brew his own beer. They all care about stuff. Things that they like to do and if they're not being lazy just because, then they're doing it.

The problem with artists is that their work isn't very tangible. Art creates a bunch of unfortunate reasons for this. The seed is in the mind (heart if you like to think that), not in an instruction manual or a physical trainer or a bunch of bricks. It's hard to figure out where to start. You may look at an artist and see nothing. We're not like, where's his hammer? He should get back to work! There's a lot of invisibility with them. Take a peek at their notebooks and you won't know what's going on. Some musicians don't even know how to write music. And so when you see them just sitting there strumming guitars or drawing or whatever, it's easy to assume they're kind of messing around. And maybe they are. But you can't know. I won't go into this too much, but art, in having so much trial/error and focusing on creativity more than anything, can seem unexpressive until it does.

The poison is to assume artists aren't trying. Never do that. True work can seem like just an aimless attempt. Montaigne's Essais are literally attempts. At lucidity of expression. Honest efforts to do what he needs. That's what everyone tries to do: what they need. For whatever reason, some may not produce a lot but you if you don't know them you can't accuse them of not trying. So I made a mistake, I'll rescind my accusations and hope that the Beets really did try to get to the radio show but met some obstacles (according to them one of the members had personal problems and had to stay up late).

Once we start to associate artistry at all with insouciance we're hampering this extremely necessary thing. Maybe there is "talent" that blesses some with an easy start but I am so sure that can be translated to about an extra ~10-20 hours of practice total. I read some article. Seems Mozart wasn't that great as a kid; Mendelssohn was better. They both had early starts. Whatever. Both died young.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE. If you can get paid for that thing you've lost another fake reason not to. You probably think I'm idealizing. I don't know what a truly hard life is, I have a rich dad, my family helped me so much, etc. yes but I'm not being that fanciful. Probably like 1/8 as much as you think. This message maybe doesn't apply for some people in the world but I bet not you. This is a blog on the internet. Think of anything one could possibly love. What has no possible starting point?

This is an attempt, more to help myself than you, really. Montaigne told the reader there's no reason to read his Essais. Obviously that's not true because he published it, but I'm guessing he saw what he wrote to save himself and knew its value to other people. So I hope it's like that with this. I'm writing it for myself--why else? If it didn't help me in some way I'd have no desire. Like I said, do what you love.

I need this advice and logic as much as anyone. My happiness has been defined by my perceived ability to do what I love. I still make the mistake--so, so much--of doubting my ability to try. So I be lazy. Pare my losses, sacrificing the erratic good for the steady okay. Meanwhile I'm burned inside when I imagine what's possible. I'm afraid to miss. Afraid to take the wrong path. But how many people take wrong turns to end up never getting there? Those who do are ashamed they gave up. Can't imagine, must pursue. With all your heart.

By the way, I don't believe one bit in wearing things out. I mean, it can happen, but there is never a ultimately regrettable consequence. You don't listen to the great song once, you put it on repeat. When there are no perceived cons I don't know why you wouldn't go ahead, full throttle. "I don't want to make it a job" is crap. Why not? You want to keep it fun? It's fun now, go for it. If you get tired it's not like you don't want anything more. And n.b. I said "no perceived cons" it's not like I'm telling you to write radio jingles if you're into music.

No one needs an excuse for laziness. Stop romanticizing it right now. "Slacker artists" still do something. Maybe the thing to ask yourself now is what you love. It's easy not to think about this. Is it really fame? $$$? It's maybe something even more abstract if you really consider it. What is it, like materialization of your emotions? Good, there a bunch of ways you can reach that. You have choices; you can choose.

2009 Top albums/singles

here

2 lazy 2 click? I'll copy and paste but I'm not going to make it look good!

Albums

1 jj, jj n° 2
Sincerely Yours Points: 16
2 The-Dream, Love vs. Money
Def Jam/Radio Killa Points: 13
3 Telepathe, Dance Mother
V2 Points: 12
4 Girls, Album
True Panther Points: 12
5 The xx, xx
Young Turks Points: 10
6 Kurt Vile and the Violators, God Is Saying This to You?
Mexican Summer Points: 9
7 Shackleton, 3 EPs
Perlon Points: 8
8 DJ Sprinkles, Midtown 120 Blues
Mule Points: 8
9 Patrick Wolf, The Bachelor
RED Points: 6
10 Omar-S, Fabric 45: Detroit
Fabric Points: 6
Singles

1 El Perro Del Mar, "Change of Heart"
Control
2 DJ Kaos, "Love the Nite Away (Tiedye Mix)"
DFA
3 Girls, "Lust for Life"
True Panther
4 Saint Etienne, "Only Love Can Break Your Heart (Richard X Remix)"
Heavenly
5 Destroyer, "Bay of Pigs"
Merge
6 The Tough Alliance, "A New Chance (Juan Maclean Remix)"
Sincerely Yours
7 Electrik Red, "Friend Lover"
Def Jam
8 Best Coast, "When I'm With You"
Black Iris
9 Black Meteoric Star, "Dream Catcher"
DFA
10 Korallreven, "Loved-Up (Nhessingtons Remix)"
Service

Dreams

a new mix by me

Julian Lynch "Time After Time"
Liam the Younger "Country Wide"
Ducktails "Landrunner"
Fleetwood Mac "Gypsy"
The xx "Heart Skipped a Beat"
El Perro Del Mar "Change of Heart"
Fergus & Geronimo "Glistening Smiles"
The Tough Alliance "Hung up on a Dream"
Toro y Moi "Talamak"
Washed Out "New Theory"
jj "my hopes and dreams"
Taken By Trees "Anna"
Sunnybrook "Waving Hands"
Vivian Girls "Before I Start To Cry"

I just think this is the best mix I've made; every song really affects me

Current 93 "The Seahorse Rears To Oblivion"

The quintessential apocalyptic folk song. The obvious (easy) criticism of this is that it's just too morose, too downbeat, too melodramatic. But without having put too much thought into the subject, I still think it's beautiful. From so much of David Tibet's music you get the sense that he really feels it, he's earnestly, unpretentiously trying to paint his vision of a world of darkness, everything unknown, there is so much to be felt and seen that it is overwhelming to contemplate and maybe depressing to know how much will remain unseen after he dies. And the whole gnostic, early middle age kind of feel to his music is appropriate; it's a time that makes me think of dark forests illuminated by campfires, hushed songs through cracks in stone walls and night skies filled with heavenly strangers. A time when people realized again that they knew nothing? That might be an important thing to keep in mind.

This kind of music doesn't fit among other favorites of mine, like The Tough Alliance and jj, because its narrator maybe isn't someone I'd want to follow the example of. But that doesn't mean I don't totally feel what he's talking about. This essentially is only a poem set to music, but it's an amazing vocal performance. He sounds like he's choking back sobs. I'll always appreciate art that totally, sincerely tries (and succeeds) to embody some kind of aesthetic or period or whatever.

The painting is one of Louis Wain's latest, when his mental health was at its worst. It's a cat. David Tibet loves Louis Wain. Maybe David Tibet sympathizes with what he thinks is a familiar reaction: astral vertigo?